Squishy
by Alrai
Summary: In which Robin tells Gaius that she thinks he is rather squishy.


**Squishy**

* * *

Gravel rolled under his boots as Gaius dug his heels into the ground, muscles shifting with practiced fluidity to rebalance himself. Skidding to a stop, the thief lazily gazed through the dust at his opponent. "Easy there. That hit would have broken a few bones."

Once the dust had settled, Stahl lifted the practice sword from the ground and grinned apologetically. "Sorry. But don't you think that you're taking this a little _too_ lightly?"

Sucking on the grape-flavored lollipop in his mouth, Gaius took a long moment to appreciate the sweet and sour tango occurring on his tongue. At last, he answered, "Not really."

The cavalier sighed softly, looking unconvinced to Gaius. Perhaps it had something to do with the candy in his mouth throughout the match. Or perhaps it was because he hadn't made any effort to attack, opting to dodge instead. Or maybe it was because half his attention was directed at the Shepherd's chief tactician, whom, since the sparring match began, had been staring steadily (and somewhat creepily) at him from under her hooded coat as she sat on the sidelines. Despite that, it didn't mean that Gaius wasn't taking the match seriously.

Glancing over at Robin, Stahl called, "Are we done?"

She dipped her head and pushed herself off the crate she had been sitting on. The female landed lightly on her feet, her movements barely stirring the dust caked ground. "Remind me next time to give him candies after a deal is complete."

Arching an eyebrow, Gaius' gaze shifted between the two, piecing together that Stahl's impromptu request for a match was actually Robin's idea. His eyes rested on the tactician, wondering what thoughts were behind that smiling face. He was still new to the group but had quickly learned to not judge the female by her innocent appearance. Straightening, the thief placed his free hand on his hip while his other hand loosely held his practice sword. "Okay, what's up?"

Stahl made his exit while Robin approached him. The clanking of metal from Stahl's armor diminished, becoming barely audible by the time the tactician reached her destination. Stopping a few feet in front of him, she tucked her hands into her oversized sleeves and answered, "I wanted to assess your strengths and weaknesses… so I can figure out the best way to position you in battles."

Her answer made sense. It also made her earlier staring a lot less creepy. The thief grinned, "And here I thought you were coming onto me."

"… Pardon?"

Of course the chief tactician would be all business. Clearing his throat, he redirected the conversation back onto its original course. Offending the tactician didn't seem like a smart idea. "Right… so what did you find?"

A long paused followed his question. "I didn't learn as much as I had wanted… but I can say that you are rather squishy."

Squishy? Gaius looked down at himself and then back at the tactician, finding it difficult to believe that she was calling him squishy. Sure, he had a high calorie diet but he was able to work off the extra fat most of the time. That was also ignoring the fact that he was still physically fit despite how his body may look. The male frowned. How was she able to tell what he looked like underneath his light armor anyway? Meeting her gaze again, Gaius asked, "Seriously?"

"Yeah." Seeing the irritation on the thief's face, Robin raised her hands placating. "Hey, it's fine. There are always two sides to a coin."

He still couldn't quite believe that the tactician was being serious. Trying not to sound too disgruntled, he remarked, "Oh yeah?"

"Yeah…" His displeased expression didn't change so she continued. "I mean… it makes you more huggable than many of the other Shepherds."

Part of him wondered how she could say that with a straight face. He usually didn't mind being huggable (after all, it made pick pocketing easier). However, in this case, she was implying that he was fat –something no one else had ever done. He refocused his gaze on her. "Right. So what are you going to do about it?"

Chin resting on her fingers in a thinking pose, Robin answered, "It's probably best to keep you away from the thick of things. Or perhaps pair you up with Frederick or Kellam."

Gaius' eyebrow twitched. Not only was she assuming that he was fat but that by extension, he was also an incapable fighter. Admittedly, he hadn't been trying his best in his match against Stahl but she was making too many assumptions. He would have disputed her claims but, on second thought, he didn't mind keeping a distance from hectic battles. Despite that, he couldn't maintain an indifferent expression.

"Hey, I'm just stating the facts."

Biting down on the sugary confection and shattering the lollipop, Gaius said, "Okay then. If that's all, I'm going for a snack break." Brushing past Robin, Gaius stalked off to his tent. Despite pretending that he didn't care about her incorrect assumptions, he made a note to perform a hundred more sit-ups later on.

Eyes trailing after the male, Robin tilted her head. Having squishy defense was a necessary tradeoff for a thief's high agility. If he didn't like being squishy, he could switch classes and put on heavy armor. However, that would reduce his current strong points and she believed those to be a huge asset to their group. With her fingers still resting beneath her chin, Robin muttered, "Maybe I should have complimented his speed and accuracy first?"

Upon further thought, Robin also realized that they didn't have the funds for people to reclass for petty reasons. Starting after Gaius, the tactician called, "Hey, wait up! It's not a big deal! … I actually like squishy guys!"

**Author's Note:** I remember reading a post about the game and someone labeling certain characters as squishy. I haven't seen the word used like that before but, in context, it was easy to figure that it meant a character that had low defence and died easily because of it. Not long after, I imagined this funny scene. Admittedly, Gaius hasn't died on me all that often but his first support conversation with Robin made him the perfect person to take being called squishy the wrong way.


End file.
